The latest news from Pennsylvania yields an unexpected result, a write-in campaign for Snoopy has gained traction in the battleground states. Fed up with the two main candidates, voters are looking for a presidential candidate that will represent the common people in government. Snoopy hasn’t made any campaign promises or formally announced running for president like other candidates, but people are completely confident in his ability to lead as they display signs of support in his lawns. “Trump and Kamala don’t know what’s happening in the hood, down in the trenches, they have no idea how much shrinkflation is hitting the value beer aisle, but Snoopy knows, and that’s why he has my vote,” says a Pennsylvanian on Facebook. “Snoopy came from rags while the other candidates sip caviar champagne on untaxed islands!” says another. Other swing states mirror the sentiment.
The latest polling map showing swing states where Snoopy is in contention, the territories where Snoopy is winning, and Blairsville where a Snoopy/Jill Stein voting war is happening.
Polling data shows nearly an even split between Snoopy, Kamala, and Trump in the battleground states with Snoopy winning in Puerto Rico, Guam, and American Samoa if they mattered for the election despite his residents being U.S citizens. A small town in the battleground state of Georgia has seen an intense voter turf war between Snoopy and Jill Stein (Green party candidate). Neighbors have stopped talking to each other and have been outing his fellow residents in Blairsville that were trying to stay neutral on Facebook. This war has brought back the “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone,” signs in local businesses but with Snoopy/Jill voters scribbled over “ anyone.”
We reached out to Snoopy for comment but received an automated reply instructing fan mail to be sent via letters to a P.O box.
ⓘThis article is satire.
